Grief, support and resilience — Judy’s story

Before their brain injury, Judy was a community support worker, an entrepreneur, and an artist. They had already overcome many challenges, including sexism, racism, classism and a major health diagnosis in their 20s. Then they were in two car accidents.

Judy already dealt with brain fog as part of their existing health challenges, and now had to deal with a traumatic brain injury affecting their processing of information, emotions and ideas. The biggest change was memory loss.

“There are times where I lose time and space, where I feel like 5 minutes went by, but really two hours went by. Sometimes I have speech impediments. I stutter sometimes. I cannot find my words, so I would go on a lot.”

As a healthcare worker in the past, Judy struggled with asking for help. “I have to prepare. Sometimes I have to write things out before I say things I don’t know. Sometimes things come out impossibly and I could say the wrong things.”

Judy also faced the challenge of appearing to be a “high-capacity, functioning, able-bodied, young person” where people assume they do not have a disability. The invisible parts of brain injury create assumptions and stigma that deeply affected their life.

Seeking safe spaces with an understanding of brain injury, Judy has a network of community resources. “I’m an artist, so I specifically look for spaces that allow creativity and self-expression.” They cast a wide net and looked at different non-profits and what they offered. That’s how they found VBIS.

“VBIS has been, I would say, my third space in sociological terminology besides going to work and going home. I like stopping by VBIS and saying hello, telling jokes, dropping off poems, having a tea, saying hello to peers.”

“I love the staff that works here as well, and it keeps me coming back. This is a very good group safe group of people.”

“My case manager is flexible and willing to work with me and has creative solutions. They don’t dehumanize me. They actually talk to me, like I’m another human being, so it’s not like there’s a power relation or a power dynamics involved at all. It’s just human talking to human.”

For Judy, VBIS has been a place they can express themselves without fear of judgement. “I’m not very great with structure I like things to be very fluid because every day is different for me to exist as a traumatic brain injury survivor — as a racialized person, as a non-binary person, as a person that lives on disabilities as a person who’s underemployed. I think VBIS is very amazing for being accessible and inclusionary.”

“I’ve come here many times leaving here very positive and feeling supported, while I feel the rest of the world is against me.”

Judy is now a mentor, teaching art to all ages. “Working with colours and art is also healing because there’s a visual stimulation to it and also it creates community, it creates resilience and also self-expression.”

While Judy has had positive experiences, they also understand the pain that comes with brain injury.

“Being a traumatic brain injury survivor, I had to go through a large health grievance because I already went through, at a very young age, being diagnosed with an incurable disease and now to acquire a brain injury. I lost another part of myself that was working, and I like my own autonomy. I like to work by myself, so working now with a team of people and coordinating all of that, it’s quite a bit of work, but it’s also a learning curve for me too, because at the same time I’m learning to ask for help in different ways. But I think people should understand that you will go through some kind of depression because I was able-bodied for so long and then to keep having these sequences of events happening to me. You go through a large period of depression, and if you’re wondering what it is and why, why this is happening to you?”

By: Ryan Clayton

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Victoria Brain Injury Society

C100-633 Courtney St Victoria, BC V8W 1B9

Phone: 250-598-9339

Email: admin@vbis.ca

The Victoria Brain Injury Society (VBIS) is situated on the traditional territories of the Lək̓ʷəŋən (Lekwungen) Peoples. We recognize and express gratitude to the Peoples and Nations in our community, and those throughout the regions we service.